Peter's Story

In the 1960’s I had been treasurer of an Anglican Parish Church for 8 years but gradually became disillusioned with what I saw then as a lack of ‘radical’ Christianity. By this time I was reading “The Plain Truth” magazine published by Herbert Armstrong and the Worldwide Church of God – a Sabbath keeping church. I became a member in 1978. We ‘knew’ that we were the one and only ‘true church’ because nobody else kept the Sabbath and the biblical Holy Days properly!!!!!!!
But then in 1995 the church suddenly announced that much of its theology was misguided. With hindsight it is now obvious that it had in the past, not unreasonably, been described as both a cult and a sect.

Along with over 100,000 people I was faced with a dramatic reappraisal of my own beliefs. It was a very traumatic experience that resulted in serious family break-ups!

I had at one time been the chief clerk of a branch office of an insurance company but 'accidentally' got involved in programming computers in 1967 (and that is part of a long story in its own right). I had been made redundant in 1990 for the fourth time and with some of the redundancy money bought my first PC. I first started using the Internet in 1997. It was I believe in 1998 that I suddenly became aware of a freedom and liberation from the slavery of legalism. But it wasn’t until 2003 that I really became aware of this movement (around the world) by many committed Christians away from the churches that they may have attended for many years.

Reading “The Shack” in the summer of 2007 when it was first published (just 11,000 copies) was a major turning point. I’ve never found reading easy, but I couldn’t put the book down. I already knew that many people were going through it a second time using highlighters. Within a couple of days I was re reading the book making notes as I went along (my Aspergers Syndrome coming into its own?). It’s no exaggeration to say that I spent three whole days living that weekend with Mack.

I don’t agree with all the implied theology of the book but for me that just isn’t important. The overriding question in my mind at the time was, “Why has it taken 57 years for someone to give me a picture of 'the trinity' that begins to make sense?” If you have listened to “True Faced with God” by John Lynch and read the rest of my blog you will appreciate something of what “The Room of Grace” means to me.


I have always been a bit of a 'loner' but it wasn't until the summer of 2008 that I stumbled on the realisation that I have lived with Aspergers Syndrome (or High Functioning Autism) all my life. That for me was an exciting discovery because it suddenly made sense of why I have such a 'blinkered' approach to just about everything I do - including the creation of hundreds of pages of notes, charts and mind maps. I also had (and still have) an obsession with gardening. But perhaps the most important discovery was an awareness of the problems associated with an inability to make eye contact with other people (a very common problem for those with AS) that gives other people the impression that we are not interested in what they are saying.
I would also describe myself as a 'slow thinker' - I like to think through what is being said (or written) before responding. Putting these two things together would perhaps explain why I feel much more comfortable on the Internet than I am face to face with people I don't know well.

***

Some of my earlier recollections might be of interest, especially the impact that ‘church’ had on our extended family.

My parents who had both left school at 13 and 14 never owned a Bible - but I had been 'forced' to go to Sunday School from the age of 9 (with an acquaintance of my father) until I was 14!

I have a fairly clear recollection of the lesson on the ‘trinity’ a couple of weeks before I was 14. It consisted of three ‘flannel graph’ white discs labelled ‘Father’, ‘Son’ and ‘Holy Ghost’. The superintendent talked about each one; took them off the ‘flannel graph’ and them put them back one on top of the other to show how three became one. It was at that point that I ‘flipped’. I have often wondered exactly what I said as I walked out after the service. It was along the lines of “I’m glad I don’t have to come after next week because that was a load of rubbish wasn’t it?”. I remember walking home feeling very angry. I told my parents in no uncertain terms how I felt, but I remember my surprise when my mother said that I didn’t have to go the following week!
As you will see later this incident was an important part of my journey.

In 1958 after finishing National Service I moved to London and met Ken who was running an Anglican Church Cub Pack single-handed and I quickly became his assistant. The boys had to attend a church parade once a month and I felt that I ought to know something of what the church was teaching. I had made friends with Reg the new curate who arrived in the parish three weeks after I did. He took me through confirmation classes (in just six weeks) and in 1959 I was confirmed in an Anglican Church. At the time I was living with a Plymouth Brethren family. To say that they were angry when I told them would be an understatement! They allowed me to sleep there that night but threw me out the next morning and a friend had to pick up my belongings that evening. I spent the next six weeks staying with Reg. That was my first experience of religious intolerance!

It was a ‘thriving’ church where the attendance usually exceeded 250 at the Family Service which was always followed by a sit-down breakfast attended by 100 plus. Ken was a member of the Young Adults group and it was here that I met my wife to be.

In 1960 we were married and Reg was my Best Man. About six weeks after we were married we were visiting my wife's mother. I was talking to Reg when he simply said that as I was now married I didn't need his friendship any longer. That was a shattering blow that took some years to recover from (I later learned that they were taught in theological college in those days that it was wrong to have friends in the parish in which they were working). I had always been a ‘loner’ (my parents wouldn’t let me play with the kids in our road because my father didn’t like the father of one of the boys). Is it any wonder that many years later someone who knew me quite well suggested that I was surrounded by an impenetrable shell? With hindsight I wonder how much influence Aspergers Syndrome had.

After we were married we became two of a regular congregation of just nine people! With the enthusiastic encouragement of the Vicar, my wife and I started a new Cub Pack. It wasn't long before the Vicar was 'crying on my shoulder' in sheer frustration.

In 1962 we moved so that my wife's mother who had Multiple Sclerosis could live with us (despite strong family opposition). I immediately made contact with the local Congregational Church who ran the only Scout Group in the community. It only took a few minutes to realise that they didn't want anything to do with an Anglican! Another experience of religious intolerance!

The Anglican parish was ‘thriving’. It didn’t take the Vicar long to tell me he was looking for a new treasurer. In 1964 I started a training course to become a Lay Reader – led by the Vicar who had during the war been the Principal of the Anglican Theological College in Mauritius. I remember asking him to explain the teaching of the 'trinity'. His answer was along the lines that greater minds than his had wrestled with that for centuries and he just had to accept what they said. The irony of that for me was that only a few months later he was appointed an Anglican Bishop (and subsequently became the first Archbishop of the Indian Ocean) and he couldn't explain the trinity!

Soon after I became treasurer of the Church we began negotiations to sell the Church (or Village?) Hall to the local Council on condition that the Council renovated it and leased it back to a newly formed Community Association. The first Secretary of the Association (who was one of the original 'boffins' who helped to develop Radar during the war) fell ill, and the Chairman (another 'boffin' who worked on controlling aircraft contrails during the war) invited me to join the committee (because Barbara and I had recently published a community guide) - but he didn't tell me that he was going to propose me as the new Secretary. I was still under 30 – without any formal educational qualifications!

Life was great! I was a 'workaholic'. I was Treasurer of the Church (for 8 years) that was selling the Village Hall; I was Secretary of the Community Association (for 5 years) that was going to take over the lease; we had a bungalow that my mother-in-law had helped us to buy; I had nearly half an acre of garden; I had a full time job as a chief clerk; and I was also on the organising committee of the local Carnival. I once remember commenting to Barbara that we were 'like ships that passed in the night'. It even got to the point where I served most weeks at the 8am Communion service so that I didn't 'waste too much time' that could otherwise be spent redeveloping the garden (while Barbara went to Family Service). Looking back the whole thing seems crazy – but there were so many lessons to be learned!

It was soon after this when I was leading a men's discussion group that I had asked the question, “What is the purpose of life?”.  The immediate response of the Vicar was, "Peter, you can't ask that, it's the 64,000 dollar question (a lot of money in those days).  Let's go on to your next question". With hindsight I think this was the beginning of my disillusionment with the Anglican Church.

I had started reading the “Plain Truth” in 1967/68. It was interesting that the church rejected the teaching of the ‘trinity’, but the real attraction at that time was the teaching that Christmas and Easter were pagan in origin and should be ignored. Early on I was drawn to the idea that "this is not the only day of salvation".

It was in 1976 that I started to attend meetings of WCG and was baptised in 1978 (while my wife was still attending an Anglican Church). In 1981 my wife was also baptised (but was it a case of if you can't beat 'em, join 'em?).

It was an amazing worldwide FAMILY - made even more incredible in 1980 when the church was the first private organisation to have a satellite link that enabled nearly 100,000 people in America, Canada, the West Indies and Europe to be sharing in a single service live! We were part of a congregation of some 4,500 Europeans meeting in a new Conference Centre in our home town of Brighton.

For the children there were two highlights each year. There was the “Summer Camp” for three weeks on the banks of Loch Lomond in Scotland, and there was the Feast of Tabernacles.

In 1986 Brighton was one of the venues for the Feast of Tabernacles. Over 900 people attended the 8-day festival – with more than 500 overseas visitors – mainly from the United States. Directly as a result of friendships made at that time we were invited to the States in 1987. We were there for 27 nights and didn’t pay a single hotel bill. How could we not feel part of one big family?

Our son was never interested (he has always been an atheist). At 17 my daughter told me that while she respected my beliefs it was my church and not hers, and she wanted to see what the world outside was like. A couple of years later she was travelling round the world when she was given a lift in Tasmania by a Pentecostal Church member. She stayed with them for several days, and as she told me later, she knew that some of what they were telling her wasn't right. When she moved back to Australia she made contact with a WCG minister - and some time after she returned to the UK she was baptised. She later married a member of the Church and travelled round the world with him. They were very much involved with youth leadership. At that time we were members of a local congregation of about 90 and my wife and I were part of a family of 14 related by marriage.

At the end of 1994 the Church announced (from the top) that much of their theology had been misguided (and that is a long story in its own right). This was a traumatic experience that split our own family. My wife and I stayed with WCG while my daughter-in-law’s family totally rejected the changes. As my daughter said, "You can't both be right". She and her husband left the Church – he in particular is now a convinced atheist (understandably) – while one of his brothers is a strong supporter of the church as it was. There are 4 members of the family who have cut themselves off from us completely. We have had a few meetings with the in-laws but there is always an ‘atmosphere’ that seems to us to be based on a reluctance to talk to those who they consider to have departed from the truth!

This is where it gets difficult to put my thoughts in writing. It was I believe in 1998 that Eddie Gibbs the Professor of Christian Outreach at Fuller Seminary (who subsequently co-authored "Emerging Churches - creating Christian community in postmodern cultures"), warned the leadership of WCG not to throw out the baby with the bathwater. I believe that is what WCG did and I would have walked away about six years ago, but my wife (who is one of the worship leaders) does not drive. Let's just say that something happened in June 2009 that led me to feel that I could no longer attend with my wife.